If you’ve been anywhere in the last year, you’ve definitely discussed in your group chat or read an article about the frustrations everyone is having with dating right now.

With all the talk about people wanting connection, you’d think it wouldn’t be so difficult. Well, you’re wrong.

A frustration friends and others I’ve talked to about dating now is the endless texting and not making a legit plan to meet up. I don’t know why this is a thing, but it needs to stop.

People will constantly message back and forth for days, even weeks, and not put pen to paper and take action to plan a date. It’s a reason why I left the apps for a while.

I’d suggest meeting up, and then it would be the “I’ll let you know,” and it wouldn’t go anywhere. I was so over it because they’d be fine just talking about nonsense and never following up about wanting to meet in person.

I found that engaging in chats where it was leading nowhere and me being annoyed yet continuing to converse was not healthy. I started making a rule that if a date wasn’t suggested after 48 hours, it was a pen pal, and that’s not what I’m about.

For some of these pen pal people, I feel like it’s them constantly looking for the next best thing. And on an app, you have endless options, so it feeds that vice.

For those frustrated with matching with pen pals, the key that I’ve found is to not make the apps your sole pool for dating. Get outside and start going to things you love and activities.

I’m a huge museum, theatre, and book person. Being in spaces where you’re doing something you genuinely love and are aligned with makes you a magnet for the right people to approach you.

For example, I made so many friends attending Love Island watch parties and attending book tour events.

My advice for this predicament is to create a boundary where you notice these signs of a pen pal sooner, and truly just get outside and do something you love.